


The Fictitious Fable

by SicklySweet



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV), A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-17 20:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14197515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SicklySweet/pseuds/SicklySweet
Summary: Understand that the events that unfold after you click the link above are not canonical or true in any way. Understand that the Baudelaire children are in fact, still very much in trouble and in a situation that you may or may not fully understand.However, also understand that some people are unable to deal with the grim realities of this tale. And as such, as the person responsible for sharing this depressing tale, I am giving such people, an 'out'. And so, it is with both a happy heart and a guilty conscience, that I report to you, dear reader, a completely fictitious tale of the Baudelaire children.





	The Fictitious Fable

Understand that the events that follow this preface are not canonical or true in any way. Understand that the Baudelaire children are in fact, still very much in trouble. In fact as you may very well be aware that they are currently struggling in a carriage that is moving backwards at high speeds and inevitably, off a cliff. However, also understand that some people are unable to deal with the grim realities of this tale regardless of the multiple warnings to look away and not continue down this torturous tale of 3 children and their unfortunate journey. And as such, as the person responsible for sharing this depressing tale, I am giving such people, an 'out'. 

An 'out' in this context refers to an opportunity a person has to leave their current path and move to one that is more suitable. In this case, moving to a happier, completely fabricated tale, in place of one with no happy ending. Should you be one of those people who require an 'out', this is it. I hope you take this story and end your time with the Baudelaire's here. While others may choose to continue on with the perilous tale that I am tasked with telling, you may consider this to be the smarter choice, and live in some sense of comfortable bliss. For that I commend you, and for once I am glad that someone is finally heading my warning, and choosing to stop reading my actual, factual account of what happens to the Baudelaire's. While it is my job to accurately report the actual events in the lives of the unfortunate Baudelaire children, a small reprieve for those who have gone too deep into a tale they can't see past the despair, is a small reprieve I can afford to make.

And so, it is with both a happy heart and a guilty conscience, that I report to you, dear reader, a completely fictitious tale of the Baudelaire children. While it is by no means a fast, or trouble-free story, I can at least guarantee to you, that by the end of this, very made up story, there will be what most will consider a happy ending. 

 

\---- 

To Beatrice,

In my imagination, you lay sleeping and dreaming.  
In reality, you lay, dead.

~ Lemony Snicket

\----

Our fictitious tale begins at what was once an ending of sorts. Madame Lulu, or 'Olivia' as the Baudelaire's knew her held the children close to her as the crowd cheered for blood. If only they knew just how underwhelmed and disgusted they would be should they get their way. The room exploded with noise as countless voices vied to get the reward that Count Olaf so generously offered. 

In seconds 'Beverly and Elliot' were on the ground near the edge of the pit. The lions roared, upset that their dangled meal was ripped away from them so quickly. However, there were now freaks, henchmen and even show goers surrounding the pit, trying to be the one that claimed the prize, and it was enough to keep the large cats occupied, paws reaching up and scratching at the walls as if it would make someone fall faster.

Olaf was yelling at the calamity that had been created before him. A cacophony of countless clamouring characters, calling out for the Count's attention. Sunny appeared at the edge of the ring, tugging lightly on the edge of the elder Baudelaire's stitched up jacket. They both looked up to the dirt-covered child and nodded. Under the cover of the fighting bodies, they split apart, their jacket falling from their shoulders and landing near the edge of the pit. They slipped out of the ring, keeping low so as to avoid attention. They made it to the edge of the tent, hiding under the bleachers with Sunny in tow, "Where's Madame Lulu" Violet whispered to Klaus, fake hair sticking to her forehead as she desperately searched the tent.

"I don’t know, she has to be here somewhere" Klaus replied, heart beating like a drum in his chest. He could hear it in his ears, feel it in his throat. Of course, they all knew about the plot to kill Olivia, each of the freaks desperate for a sense of acceptance with a man who would never accept them. Blindly following Esme and her plot to keep the madman to herself. The probability of Olivia making it out of the tent first was low. She had been centre stage, vulnerable, and had multiple people trying to see her end up in the pit.

Suddenly they heard the first scream. I specifically say first because it is not the only scream, and every other scream followed the loud, shocked, masculine voice. The scream was quickly followed by a second, more effeminate voice, with less shock, more terror filling it, followed by loud, hungry roars. It was hard to tell who exactly the bodies were, who had fallen into the pit. But with the wonders of hindsight, I can tell you that it wasn’t Count Olaf, it wasn’t Esme Squalor, it wasn’t the Hook-Handed Man, The Person of Indeterminate Gender, The White Faced Women, or the freaks. We know this because they will appear again later on in this tale, and so they are unable to be the ones who lost their lives to that of the hungry lions in the pit.

It was also hindsight that allows us to know that Count Olaf believed that Beverly and Elliot, the two-headed humanoid, and possibly Chabo the wolf boy, had fallen into the pit. We also know this because of events that will present themselves later, namely, in the partially torn, stitched up jacket that will be pulled from the edges of the lion pit.

However, being very not dead Violet and Klaus with Sunny in their arms, ran to the tent of the possibly dead Madam Lulu. From inside the confines of thin, multi-coloured tent cloth, they took a moment to breathe. "Klaus" Violet whispered, looking at him with glass-like eyes, glinting with tears she dares not shed. She didn’t know what affected her more, the fear of being almost eaten by lions, the possibility that Olivia might have been eaten by the same lions, or the haunting sound of jaw and teeth, ripping apart bones and flesh of people, who definitely were eaten by lions.

"I know, but now is not the time," Klaus said putting Sunny on the ground. "We need to get what we can and run. We need a way out of here" he said quickly, starting to hunt for something to be used as a makeshift backpack. Violet stilled, taking a deep breath before nodding. Her hand went to her pocket, aiming to pull out her ribbon before ultimately discovering for the second time in a very short time, that her ribbon, or makeshift ribbon, was missing once more.

"My ribbon" came her voice before looking around the room. "It was a tie from the hospital, its gone... if Olaf finds it" she said in panic before Klaus turned to her, "Violet, the chances are Olaf already knows. What are the odds he would pull our name?" He asked moving to hold her hands. "I know your ribbon is important, but we need to move... can you find a substitute?" He asked, trying to be encouraging. He knew they didn’t have the time they needed, especially if this was going to delay them further.

Violet nodded, going to the Caligari Cabinet, quickly moving inside to find some form of a tie. She pulled a ribbon free of one of the disguises, a white fluffy dress that she was sure was meant to be a wedding dress. Either way, it wasn’t to her taste, and felt no shame in making the modification. She pulled the white ribbon around her hair and pulled it tight, feeling the relief of finally being able to think.

"Klaus" she called suddenly, "There's a backpack in here," She said pulling it out, finding a multitude of wigs inside. Surely this too was part of the kit, but once again, she found she had no mind to quickly remove the wigs from their home, throwing them to the rack of clothes behind her. "We can use this to take stuff with us," she said with a smile, Sunny and Klaus coming to look at the bag. "I'll grab the book, you get anything that might be useful," Klaus said starting to back up, "Sunny, grab any tapes you can find," he said finally before going back into the rest of the tent.

With surprising speed, the Baudelaire's filled the backpack. They didn’t know what they were taking with them, books they hadn't read, tapes they wouldn’t watch, and a book they had been chasing for what seemed like forever; now conveniently willed with notes about its contents. 

It was then that they heard the crowd moving around the tent. The screaming had, for lack of a better word, died down, and now muttering could be heard as people filled the road between the tents. "That was.... gorier than I expected" came one voice, "I don’t really know what I expected, it was a show about people getting eaten by lions" came another. It was disheartening, hearing how little people seemed to care, and how unfazed they seemed to be even though two living people were now not so living.

"Thank you all for coming! And I will see you all again soon for the best show yet" came the booming voice that was Count Olaf. It was close. In fact, it was getting closer, along with laughter and the crunching of debris under the shoes painted to look better than they were. 

"Hide," Sunny said quickly, the elder two nodding, picking up the youngest and pulling them into the Caligari Cabinet and shutting the door behind them. They pushed themselves to the back of the small room, hiding behind the disguises, hoping they would do their job, in a creative sense, and disguise their hiding place. They curled down small as anyone would when hiding for their lives, and held their breath, waiting for an opportunity. Or to be found. Whichever came first.

The laughter got closer, the small acting group Count Olaf called his own, having grown three members in a matter of minutes. "Olaf that was wonderful" came the cheers of a young female voice that could only belong to the contortionist Collette. The Baudelaire's could practically hear the Count grin with pride as he smugly uttered, "I know." Once more, the room was filled with chatter, praising the Count, laughing about the lions, before the obnoxious voice of Esme lifted above the crowd. "Who fell in in the end?"

The room fell silent as the siblings focused in. "Yeah, who fell in? It was too bloody to tell who it was... everything was red... And who pushed them?" Came another voice, although, it is unclear as to who. "I did" piped up a younger voice, who after living in a small room with him, the Baudelaire's was sure was Kevin, the ambidextrous boy. "I pushed them," he said again, walking through the room. 

"Oh? And who did you push in?" Came Esme's voice. It was laced with promise and hope. It was clear who she had hoped it would be. They could imagine the old crone bending over towards Kevin, eyes glinting and fingers curling together. Their stomachs dropped. All three of them had known that the freaks had wanted to follow Esme's orders, but they had hoped, even just a tiny bit, that they would reconsider. After all, at the end of the day, they were ending someone's life. 

But in the lives of the Baudelaire's, hope is a dangerous thing. Having hope means that it can be taken away or let down, and putting your hope into something specific can be even more disastrous, as then that specific hope, can be crushed. As the Baudelaire's would soon discover, in the utterance of but a few words.

"Madame Lulu" Kevin answered, almost breathless as if awaiting approval. "I pushed Madame Lulu." The Baudelaire's held their breath once more, holding it in so as to not express how shattered they felt at the news of their ally's death. "I watched as she screamed. I pushed her, just like you asked" came Kevin once more. "Like she What?" Olaf asked confused, just to be hushed by Esme, "Oh Olaf that woman is gone! What a shame" Esme cried happily, followed by a slight 'oof' that would suggest she hugged onto Olaf. "Now we can finally leave this place" She cooed, obviously wanting something with the tone she was using.

"Yes... well... we know the location of the surviving Baudelaire thanks to the map... where ever it is... I suppose now would be as dramatic as ever to make our leave" Olaf pondered, turning and walking closer to the Caligari Cabinet. The Baudelaire's curled tighter, if you have ever heard the term, 'it felt like infinity' this was what that was. This term means a period of time feels like it will never end. An infinity is a very long time in reality. But this is a story, and what felt like infinity to Violet, Klaus and Sunny, was in fact seconds.

"Go, raid the rest of the place, and then burn it down" came Olaf's chilling tone. Fingers making a tiny scratching sound against the wood. "But Count Olaf sir, what about the show goers? And what about Beverly and Elliot, and Chabo?" Came a timid voice from the other side of the door. "Don’t worry about them, the freak... well the freak is long gone, in the belly of the beast, only their jacket remains" Olaf all but chuckled, "And Chabo... Well if you see it pick it up I guess, otherwise who cares?"

The people in the tent laughed, agreeing with the orders before walking out. "Dearest go start the car, we will need to get away rather quickly once this place lights up" Olaf called to Esme, her shoes scuffing roughly against the ground as she walked, assumedly to carry out his orders. "Now..." Olaf whispered to the cabinet, swinging the doors open and letting light into the small room, burning the eyes of the Baudelaire's hidden inside.

His shoes clicked against the ground, barely heard if not for that the rest of the world was now quiet. The shoes got closer and the light grew dimmer as Olaf walked towards the clothes rack. Their legs were getting sore, being curled up so tight, unshed tears and un screamed screams held tight inside them. They could hear his breathing now. His face inching closer to the rack full of very familiar clothes.

Once more for the Baudelaire's, it felt like infinity. The silence, the calm before the storm. Then suddenly came a noise of disgust and a hand smacked along the clothes that barely hid them. "I've worn all these!" Came his almost grumpy voice, Olaf's words confusing them greatly. "I need new disguises... I'm running out" he grumbled to himself before his shoes started clicking against the floor once more and fading further and further away. 

A sense of relief washed over the group, muscles relaxing and sighs flowing out of them. "They said...." Violet whispered, the first noise any of them had made since they took shelter in the closet. "Madame Lulu... Olivia is...." Klaus continued, folding over and running his hands through his hair. "I don't want to think about it. I don’t want to think about Lions, about Madame Lulu, about Olaf... I want..." Violet didn’t know what she wanted. She just didn’t want this. Didn’t want to think about this, or be anywhere near here. 

"Neither do I... I don’t want to be here... is that smoke?" Klaus commented, head snapping up. Smoke was starting to fill the air, maniacal laughter following it. "Olaf told them to burn it down. We need to run. Now!" Violet replied, picking Sunny up and pushing out of the Cabinet, for probably the last time it could ever be used. They headed for the front door to the tent, panic filling all of them. Klaus pushed the backpack over his shoulders and looked over Violet's own before ducking back to hide. The White Faced Women shuffled past, uncomfortably fast for how old they appeared, with two lit torches, parallel to each other as always. 

They cackled as they ran past, lighting things on fire as they moved through the small carnival. "We need to be careful. We can't be seen" Violet said softly, leading Klaus out and running to the right, further into the carnival but away from the women. There were loud roars from the big top, already ablaze. Violet hesitated. They should help. Lions didn’t choose to help Count Olaf, they were prisoners too. But then there came the thought of Madame Lulu and she didn’t know if she could do it.

"Klaus... The lions" she said looking from him to the top. "I know... but how could we even do anything? They might just attack us first" he said feeling the same conflict as Violet. "Crash" Sunny said before hiding her face in Violet's shoulder. "What?" Violet asked before there was a thunderous crack, and the Big Top caved in. The supports for the shelter cracked and snapped, bringing everything down, and forcing the roaring to stop. A new sickness rolled through their stomachs as Violet grabbed Klaus' hand and pulled him away. 

The roller coaster was like its own sun, practically glowing as the fire consumed it. There was no way they could use anything from it, nor anything from any new tents. Everything was ablaze. "What are we going to do?" Klaus said looking around and finally acknowledging the trapped, hopeless feeling that had been brewing in his stomach. "There has to be a way out. There always is" he said as his hands started to shake in Violets own. 

"There has to be something," Violet said, tugging Klaus to keep moving. As always with being on the lamb staying still was never a good idea. The same could be said for standing still in the middle of a burning carnival. They ran behind the tents, making their way down and towards the front of the carnival. Violet didn’t know what she was hoping for, but they needed an out. They needed anything.

At the edge of the entrance, they bent down, hiding behind a small portion of the fence that wasn’t on fire. Count Olaf, Esme, his acting troupe and the three new members were all loading into his car, Olaf lighting a cigarette, surely for dramatic effect, before throwing the match behind him as if it would finalize the blaze and getting into the driver's seat.

With a roar that rivalled the fire's own, Olaf and his troupe were off towards the mountains. Violet put Sunny down, arms aching from carrying her, and took her hand. They staggered forward out of the carnival, safe from the fire, but now alone, once more in the middle of the hinterlands. "What are we going to do?" Klaus said, watching the car they came in, now driving off with a trunk full of freaks.

"Start walking?" Violet offered uselessly. There had surely been worse situations for them. But finally, as the carnival burned, a tear rolled down Violet's cheek. They had finally found the book. But at what cost? They were lost, they had no food, no shelter, no way out. At least they could know the truth before they died? Or by some miracle, the old Madame Lulu, the one Olivia had mentioned, would find them before they perished?

Klaus hugged Violet close, Sunny hugging her legs as the grief, sadness, fear and tiredness finally caught up with them. Small sobs came from young children, echoing out into the desert, where only hungry, starting lions, could possibly hear them.

Then, out of the darkness, a rumbling came, a quick honk noise sounded, and now with red eyes and tear-stained cheeks, they looked up to see a cab. They stared at it for a few seconds before they finally registered it in its entirety. It was a clean, functioning, running, yellow cab, in the middle of the desert, right after Olaf set a carnival on fire, and it had a driver.

Standing back straight, the elders looked at one another, nodded, before both looking to Sunny, who also nodded. They took each other's hands before inching towards the cab, still hiccupping in emotion. With a small click, they hear the door of the cab start to open, the door swinging to the side as dark hair appeared out of the cab.

Followed by a familiar face and a relieved smile. The cab door slammed shut and the Baudelaire's ran as fast as they could towards the purple-clad, if slightly singed, Olivia. With arms open wide they embraced tightly. The sobbing was prevalent with whispers of 'I thought I lost you' and other words of alike. 

Violet pulled back shakily, looking at the friend of someone she thought she had lost. "I thought... how did you escape? Kevin said he pushed you in?" She asked softly, still afraid to pull away completely. "I thought they got you, I'm sorry that I didn’t find you sooner... But ill explain everything in the cab. Jump in, we have to get moving" Olivia said nodding, pulling back and guiding them to the car.

"Where did you get this cab? What happened? Where are we going?" Klaus asked quickly, buckling Sunny in before himself as Olivia turned the car on once again. "I found an out. Olaf was distracted, I slipped away, but when I heard the two people scream I feared the worst" Olivia explained. "This cab.... was a dear friend of mine's, he's gone now... But, we have an appointment to make. Is everyone buckled in?" She asked looking back with a smile.

"It's time for you to meet some very important people"

**Author's Note:**

> Well that was interesting
> 
> Did anyone else finish the second season and just wish it was different? I did. 
> 
> This was me just writing a way for them to be ok, even for a little bit. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!!!!


End file.
